I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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