before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
