yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
