I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
