I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
