i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
