Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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