I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
