talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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