rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
