She's JV to your varsity
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
