I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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