At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
