the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
