Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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