What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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