Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
