I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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