he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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