I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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