just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
