im about as happy as oj after his trial
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
