Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
