I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
