He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
