I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize