That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
