Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
