Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
