if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
