if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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