ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
