I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
