Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
