I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
