soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
