how can u be prego again
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
