His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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