dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
This can only be settled by a dance off.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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