nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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