Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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