you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
