Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
