i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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