I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My penis needs a shock collar
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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