dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
