And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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