I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
