the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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