I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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