The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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