i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
